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Diabetes is Everywhere.

Diabetes is everywhere. 

It was in my car last night when I climbed in after work, seeing the test strip on the driver's seat.  It was on my bathroom counter, where I placed the pump when I disconnected for my shower.  Little bits of it are at the bottom of my purse, where test strips are scattered.  And it's folded into every meal, with a quick finger prick, some fast calculations, and discreet button pushing.

No one's the wiser.  Where's the pump?

Except this morning, when I made a small scene on my way into work.

Making attempts to enjoy the more feminine side of my wardrobe, I decided on a skirt this morning.  Skirt, shirt, underwear, and stockings.  Jewelry.  And insulin pump.  Since there was no good place to clip my pump, I used the thigh holster and viola - the outfit was complete.

Walking out the door to my car, no problem.

Driving to work, no problem.

Arrived at work.  Grabbed my bag and my folder.  Started walking from the car to my office.

Pump.  Slipping.  With every step.

"Oh shit, shit."  Whispering to myself, trying not to make it look like I'm walking as though I've just been startled to the point of staggering.  Every step I take, my knees are bending more and more to keep the pump from sliding out.  Since the infusion set is in my thigh, there's plenty of tubing to send this pump straight to the sidewalk.  The pump is sliding neatly down my right thigh, edging towards my knee, soon to be on the ground.

Wearing a calf-length black coat, I figure I have about two more steps before the pump and the holster drop into plain view of everyone driving by and the entire Westport train station. 

I duck into a side lot and try to make it look like I'm just itching my ankle.  Then I try and grab the holster through my coat, as it hovers just below my knee, hoping I can hitch it up above my knee and at least make it into my office. 

No luck.

The pump drops, hanging around my ankle like a sad garter belt. 

I grab it, holster and all, and hold it against my purse.  The tubing is pulling up the front of my skirt a little, but not in an indecent way, more in a "Are you wearing a garter to work?" sort of way.  My face is scarlet - I'm trying to walk with dignity, as though I'm not holding my pancreas in my hand.

Almost to the building.  I think I may be able to make it in there without dropping it or everything I'm carrying. 

All at once, my phone rings.  The pump beeps.  The train comes roaring into the station.  My meter case falls from my open purse.  My pump slips from my hand, clatters against the sidewalk, just in time for the guy who runs the parking lot to put out his cigarette and say, "Mornin'.  Hey, your phone charger is still attached to your phone, you know." 

Diabetes is everywhere.  And this morning, it was all over the sidewalk. 

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Comments

God Bless ya is all I know to say. I've had mornings just like that :-) (most people think mine's a cell phone clipped to my belt loop btw)

I completely understand the slipping holster situation! I've started using a Spanx-like shorts under my skirts and occasionally under my slacks. The pump doesn't move at all, like it did with the holster. Just an idea...

This happens to me every tiem I wear a skirt. I lost my modesty long ago, though, and just yank the thing back into place in full view of everyone. That, and don't wear skirts often.

I'm going to have to remember the spanx option, though. Handy.

No bra, eh? :P

Krista - "Bra" was included with "underwear." God knows Google will now have a field day with my site. ;)

I break more belt clips at work than I care to discuss, and when I move from room to room test strips fall out like the witch in the Bugs Bunny Cartoons.

Bike shorts. Never bothered with a thigh thing when bike shorts keep things together. Plus, you can wear them to the gym for a workout. Plus, I'm with Andrea--who cares about modesty? I reach into my bra for my pump whenever I wear the pump that way and believe me, no one's the wiser.

Oh, Kerri, so sorry.

But, your line: "I'm trying to walk with dignity, as though I'm not holding my pancreas in my hand.", had me cracking up.


"as though I'm not holding my pancreas in my hand" CLASSIC!

Once again - I loved, loved, loved this post, Kerri.

I think we've all had mornings like this - where we feel like our whole being is splayed out all over the sidewalk.

I can't say as I have any of these issues with the pump falling from a thigh holster - as I have my mother's handsewn-in pockets in my underwear (go ahead google - have a field day) that keeps the pump locked right in all day. But you see, I will be feeling your pain big-time come April 21st when I have to wear the teal colored satin bridesmaid gown with no room for a bump (pump) around the midsection...

I too have lost all modesty when it comes to the thigh thing. The slippage has happened to me on a few occassions on my walk to work and I've actually held onto it through my skirt like i'm about to curtsey at any moment. I have started using that little garter clip that clips it to your undies. Now THAT is embarrassing when I'm getting changed at the gym. I wonder if people think that I think it's supposed to be sexy!

I am sorry....but I am laughing! BEEN THERE! (like the time I was at the gym with my trainer, and my pump feel out of my bra and was HANGING while I was doing weights....and I left it hanging HA......)

I have a test strip wedged between my emergency brake and the seat in my car....but my vacuum can not reach it, my fingers can not reach it...it is there, and every day taunts me! Only I can see it....I know it is there.....and nothing can get it out! :)

Kerri, it sounds like you had a tough morning. But I can really empathize with you on this one! It's happened a few times. But like Sarah N said, the Spanx work wonders. I have the bike shorts with a high waist and your pump just fits nicely against your skin wherever you want to put it. I put it near my waistline. I am killing a few birds with one stone. Smaller waist, flatter tummy (except for the discreet bulge of my pump), tighter ass, and thighs that don't rumble like thunder. Ok, I am exaggerating a little. :)

Excellent entry. Well done.

I, too, laughed (funny ha ha, then sigh) at "pancreas in my hand".

Funny story for you...

I, too, wear an insulin pump. Today I was working with a small group of students on three dimensional shapes. One of those shapes happened to be a rectangular prism. One of my cherubs says to me, "Your favorite shape must be a rectangular prism." Dumbfounded why the heck this kid would guess that, I ask why. He proceeds to tell me it is because I carry around a rectangular prism all day long in my pocket, so it must be my good luck charm or something.

I, too, can empathize. I discovered the Spanx trick while on a business trip. I had only one outfit to wear to the event (a dress), and I forgot the Thigh Thing! Quick call to boyfriend for advice... we came up with Ace bandages, garter clips, velcro strips, and FINALLY gut-sucking bike shorts-style undies! The pump was pressed so tightly to my thigh I thought it would overheat. But it worked.
My latest concern is for the July wedding... so far the Thigh Thing with the garter clips has worked wonders for me... but what if on THAT DAY it slides down my leg as I'm walking down the aisle?? Best have those emergency Spanx at the ready! ha ha

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