June 20, 2007

Time for Meme.

Oh memes.  Where would I be without your inspiration?  Stolen unabashedly from Nicole.

1. Kerri
2. Six
3. Zippy

1. Eye color, the same as my Nana and my Grammie.
2. My torn up, bitten to the quick, busy little hands.
3. My grin.

1. My anxiety.  (It feels physical sometimes.)
2. My height (oh, how I wish to be taller!)
3. The little dots that infusion sets leave behind on my thigh.

1. Irish
2. Italian
3. German (But not the crummy, VW German. VWs suck.)
I'm the queen of Minty Fresh.
1. Being alone.
2. Offending people.
3. Complications from diabetes.

1. Insulin (I'll take it however I can get it.)
2. Extra wintermint chewing gum.
3. That little book I carry everywhere to jot down notes about random bits and pieces.

1. A v-neck Ann Taylor top.
2. My engagement ring.  :)
3. Lip gloss.

1. I Don't Like Musicals.
2. Maybe Spamalot.
3. Okay, Spamalot.

1. Grace Under Pressure- Elbow
2. Song for Someone - The Frames
3. How to Disappear Completely - Radiohead

1. Love.
2. Comfortable conversation about anything.
3. Laughter.

1. Shiny new toasters.
2. Flowers in bloom on my back deck.
3. Clean sheets.

(You didn't specify, so this is what you get.)

1. Blogging.
2. Writing.
3. Shopping.  Oh man, do I love to shop.

1. Hug my fiance.
2. Jump into the ocean and feel the sand on my feet.
3. Take a nap.  Damn insomnia.

1. Media maven.
2. Writer of a professional-ish nature.
3. Kitten cuddler.

1. Ireland.
2. Italy.
3. Some quiet little tropical place where I can lay out on a blanket on the beach, drink fabulous frothy drinks with paper umbrellas, and soak up the sun. (Very unhealthy, I agree.  But it's vacation, so I can do as I please.)

1. Aidan Christopher.
2. Emma.
3. Martin.  (Yes, mom.  Like the cat.)

1. Publish the book.
2. Oh, maybe I should start with "Write the last third of the book."
3. Have a family.

1. I cry.  Easily.  And with tears that could fill a swimming pool.  Or at least a thimble, at a rapid rate.
2. I believe strongly in the power of clothes shopping.
3. I live to love.

Adding a 4th - I hate when people refer to women as "chicks."  Even this question pissed me off.

1. Fart jokes are funny.  All the time.  Without fail.
2. I have no problem being confrontational. 
3. Did I mention fart jokes? Classless, yet special.

1. Chris Sparling (star of An Uzi at the Alamo, don'tcha know?)
2. Bono
3. Tom Carvel

Everyone is tagged.  Memes for all! 

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June 08, 2007

99 Problems But a Meme Ain't One.

www.gapingvoid.com/1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?  "Ooh, Kerri.  Nice hair.  You need to go straight back to bed."

2. How much cash do you have on you? $2.50.  Just enough to go downstairs and grab an iced coffee.

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? Implore.

4. Favorite planet? My wedding - I need to planet.  (Ha!)

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Maid of Honor

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? The Law & Order theme.  Brings me great joy.

7. What shirt are you wearing? Blue polo shirt, nice and comfortable and cozy enough to make the drive home to RI without ending up all rumpled.

8. Do you label yourself? I haven't given that much thought.  I guess I do, mostly out of convenience/laziness.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: Ann Taylor.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Is this a preference or where I am now?  I'm currently in a bright room with three skylights above my head. 

11. Why is there always a missing question? Because some people can't count.  Like me.

12. What does your watch look like? Silver link band, rectangular face, small silver numbers, and silver hands that haven't moved because the battery died and it just dawned on me now.  This watch has just been downgraded to "bracelet."

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Rebuilding my About Me page because it flaked out.  And then I hugged Chris.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "I love it!" from Batman, about her new, impromptu nose ring.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? I have no idea.  And I can't bring myself to care.  But there is a Tim Horton's coffee shop about four miles down the road.  Yay!

16. What's a word that you say a lot? I can't narrow it down, but I do laugh too much.  I've been called out on it at work several times. 

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My handsome fiance.

18. Last furry thing you touched? Abby, who was asleep in my purse and I had to scoot her out of the way so I could leave for work.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?  Three - insulin, blood pressure meds, and birth control.  Too much information?  Potentially.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? About 3,432.  There's a whole cache of undeveloped film at my father's house that I need to rescue and develop.  I know there are at least three summers at CBC that are unaccounted for, as well as my brother's college graduation party.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? They've all been fun.  I'm pretty content where I'm at today.

22. Your worst enemy? Volkswagon.

23. What is your current desktop picture? My niece and nephew. 

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "I thought you slept that off."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? I'm scared to get in a plane - why the hell would I want to fly all on my own?  Sounds dangerous.  Check, please.

26. Do you like someone? I like almost everyone.  And I'm loyal to the bitter end. 

27. The last song you listened to? "Rifles" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

28. What time of day were you born?  Early in the morning on a snowy Thursday in February.

29. What's your favorite number? Eleven.

30. Where did you live in 1987? At my parent's house in Westerly, gearing up for third grade.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?  As little as possible.  No time to waste on jealousy.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? I couldn't care less.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? On the Pell Bridge in Newport, heading to my first job after college.  I was terrified.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Have a stern but direct conversation with it, explaining my reasons for being upset and trying to coax my change back out of its belly.  And when it refuses to comply, I kick it in the shins.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? Yes.  I don't like cruel people.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I like other people's tattoos, but I don't want one on myself.  Ever.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Gaelic.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? Yes. 

39. Are you touchy-feely? Physically, I love being held by someone I love.  Emotionally, I'm the most sensitive person you'll ever meet and I'm always thinking of the feelings involved.

40. What's your life motto? I don't believe in mottos.  I do, however, like a good tagline now and again.

41. Name three things you have on you at all times: My engagement ring, my pump, and my smile.

42. What's your favorite town/city? I love Boston.  And Watch Hill, RI.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? "Iced coffee," says Kerri, her hands shaking from caffiene withdrawal.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? When the people at Logimedix Medical Supply pissed me off.  I wrote them a complaint letter, telling them where precisely to put what.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Proudly, but not neatly.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? That he's living in RI.  And he looks almost exactly the same.

47. How far back do you know your ancestry? I am not quite sure.  But I would love to dig around in my family history.
Bird blogging.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? I wore a black and white dress for a fancy dinner in South Norwalk with my fiance.  There was no real reason, but it was fun to dress up and go out on a date.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? Yes, my knee because I fell coming up the stairs at work today due to the fact that I'm terribly awkward.

50. Have you ever been burned by love? Yes.  But I healed.

51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers?  Does Larry Bird have a blog?

52. Where would you like to live?  Anywhere.  Everywhere.  Bring it on.

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April 05, 2007

Question and Answer Meme.

credit to Toothpaste for Dinner

Questions courtesy of Julia

1.  What does blogging do for you?

It’s put me in touch with other diabetics who are experiencing so much of what I experience.  It’s given me the opportunity to embark on a new career path.  It makes me feel confident, strong, silly, self-conscious, and happy all in the same spin cycle.  It has given my family and friends the opportunity to see what diabetes is like, without having to talk about it all the time.  It makes me laugh, sometimes.  (It also forces me to learn html coding and stylesheets.)

It makes me realize how much reading the words, “I feel that way, too,” can make your whole world crack wide open.  It confirms I’m not alone.

2.  Do you have any tattoos?  If so, what of and what do they represent?  If not, would you?

No tattoos for this girl.  And no plans for any, either.  I can’t think of anything I want on my body for permanence.  My two best friends are all inked, though.  They look lovely.  I just don’t have the desire.  I did, however, pierce my navel just to piss my father off.  Success!

3.  If money were no object, describe what your wedding would be like.  Where would you Pez.  It's very wedding-y.honeymoon?

Ah, the wedding.  (Can I admit to the seven bridal magazines that are on my bookshelf at work right now?  And the wedding binder I’m building at home?  And should I also admit to the fact that I’ve barely been engaged for two weeks?) 

Having fully disclosed that, my dream wedding would be enormous.  Our guest list would scroll on for miles, including the names of every family member and every friend we have.  There would be a string quartet that plays as I walk down the aisle, a live band for our reception, and the most decadent, crank-up-your-pump cake of all time.  People would be happy that we’re happy.  You’d hear the laughter from miles away and people’s jaws would ache from smiling.  And we’d know that plane tickets (and let’s not forget the xanax!) would be sitting in our hotel room, ready to fly us off to Europe for a three-week honeymoon adventure.

But, regardless of budget, the day would end and I would be his wife.  That’s the best part.  And you can’t put a price on that.

4.  What is your all-time, number one, desert island favorite book/album/movie?

All time favorite book – The Princess Bride 
All-time favorite album – The Joshua Tree
All-time favorite movie – Braveheart

5.  Is what you do for a living what you’d do if money were no object?  If not, what would you do?

Let’s be honest – if money were no object, I’d be writing books full-time and running a flower shop.  But since money is always an object, I’m more than happy to be working for a company whose mission I respect and share.

If you want five, let me know.  I'm more than happy to dole them out.  (Be warned - they could be pretty damn random.)

Completely unrelated – I received a UPS box yesterday at work from a reader with a lovely engagement gift inside.  The card was so nice, but unsigned.  If you wish to remain anonymous, I wanted to make sure I thanked you so much for your gift!  If Who is this from?you would email me at kerri @ sixuntilme . com, I would love to send you a personal “thank you” instead of this sort of general one. 

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March 01, 2007

Like a 7x7 Lion.

Like a freaking lion.March ... something about in like a lion, out like a lamb, right?

So in roars March, with a new edition of EXIST Magazine, my boyfriend in LA, and a blood sugar of 345 mg/dl after eating only a 20g organic granola bar.  What the hell caused that?  I hope the end of the month is nice and lamb-like.

Nothing cures this chaos like a meme, right?  So here’s the “7x7” one, stolen from ChickenYogurt.

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

1.  Have a family.
2.  Finish my damn book.
3.  Learn to tolerate the taste of seafood so Chris and I can both enjoy scrod, instead of me  making faces at him whenever he orders it.
4.  Visit Ireland.
5.  Open a cat-wrangling farm, like in that Superbowl commercial from a few years ago.
6.  Learn to change spark plugs.
7.  Live.

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1.  Give up.
2.  Speak a foreign language (though I can understand Spanish, I can’t speak a lick of it).
3.  Drive slowly.
4.  Keep my mouth shut.
5.  Understand how people can be so cruel to one another.
6.  Resist blogging.
7.  Laugh quietly.

Seven Things That Attract Me to… The Mr.

1.  His wicked sense of humor.
2.  A reluctant smile.
3.  Creative spirit.
4.  Noncomformity.
5.  Ambition and determination.
6.  His old-fashioned values.
7.  He looks damn good.

Seven Things I Say:

1.  “Oh for crying out loud.”
2.  “Dodgy.”
3.  Anything stolen from Eddie Izzard.
4.  “No officer, I have no idea how fast I was going.”
5.  “This is definitely diet, right?”
6.  “I’m never buying another Volkswagen.”
7.  “I love you.”

Seven Books That I Love:

1.  Sweet Invisible Body
2.  The Harry Potter series
3.  A Walk in the Woods
4.  The Princess Bride
5.  The Devil’s Arithmetic
6.  My Sister’s Keeper
7.  Andrew Henry’s Meadow

Seven Movies That I’ve Loved (at different times and in no particular order):

1.  Dead Poet’s Society
2.  Millions
3.  An Uzi at the Alamo
4.  Braveheart
5.  Schindler’s List
6.  Steel Magnolia’s (the old diabetic standby)

Seven People To Tag (in no particular order)

1.  Julia (Major Bedhead)
2.  Megan  (Nothing is Sound)
3.  Nicole (CuriousGirl)
4.  Jill (Navigum)
5.  Rachel (Tales of my Thirties)
6.  Carey (Up High, Down Low)
7.  Amanda (Pure Joy)

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January 01, 2007

The “Year In Review Meme”

(Ripped off from Rachel.)

The first line of a definitive post from each month.  It was straHappy New Year!nge to go picking through the archives.  But also strangely therapeutic. 

Here we go!

January:  I didn’t always count the sips.

February:  Sometimes I examine the minutiae of a moment until an ache forms in both my head and my heart.

March:  I held hands with Superman.

April:  Scene.

May:  “Diabetes doesn’t define you, it just helps explain you.”

June:  I quit my job a few weeks ago.

July:  Internet access is spare STOP

August:  That I should learn to sew.

September:  My eyes were wide, wide open and my pupils were dilating further by the second.

October:  My beautiful grandmother died this morning.

November:  Dear Pancreas,

December:  The alarm goes off, forcing my hand out from under the covers to turn it off.

Farewell, 2006.  It's been a wild year. 

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December 19, 2006

Christmas Tunes Tag.

O Holy OrnamentI've been tagged by my fellow dLife columnist, Scott Johnson, to lay out my Top Five Favorite Christmas Tunes.  Here they are, in no particular order:

It’s Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - When Bono and the boys start rallying about coming home for Christmas, it’s pure holiday magic.  I love this song.  LOVE IT.  (YouTube clip here.)

Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms – The scene in Home Alone when the Culkin kid sticks a cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan on the train set so it looks like people dancing – undeniably classic.

O Holy Night – One of the prettiest Christmas songs I’ve ever heard.  Quite possibly one of the prettiest songs ever, holiday or not. 

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer – I know every word to this song.  (Who sings this one?)  Granted, it’s extremely macabre and not very seasonally charming, but the line “You should never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves” makes my face ache from grinning.

And my top favorite Christmas tune: 

The 12 Days of Christmas (The Muppets and John Denver) - When the Muppets sing the 12 Days of Christmas, I just about lose it.  Best Christmas tune ever.  And when Animal lurches in with “Twelve Drummers Drumming,” I laugh every time. 

"Five golden rings!  Ba dum dum dum!"  Classic.

I'm not sure who hasn't been tagged, but feel free to tag yourself.  Ba dum dum dum!

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November 19, 2006

The Procrastination/NaBloPoMo Meme

(Ripped off from Julia.)

Explain what ended your last relationship?
Honestly?  I wanted kids, he didn’t.

When was the last time you shaved?
This morning.  Every day.  I am compulsive about it.
Tea for Me.
What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?

Sound asleep in my bed, tucked in under the down comforter with Abby at the foot of the bed, Chris to my right, and Sausage on my head.  (Out of context, that sounds bizarre.  Actually, it doesn’t sound normal in context, either.)

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

Making a cup of black tea.

Are you any good at math?
Complete crap at it.  If there wasn’t a bolus wizard on my pump, I would be low all the time.  Don’t ask me about my sense of direction, either.  It’s on the Crap List as well.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
My date wore a white suit, we had a limo with 7 of our friends, and my prom dress was dyed to match my old 1996 VW Jetta.  I actually had the dress shop match swatches to the paint job on my car.  Yes, troubled.  I agree.

Do you have any famous ancestors?
Not really.  But on his mother’s side, my nephew is a direct descendant of William Wallace.

Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Scholarship, baby.

Last thing received in the mail?
A copy of “The Record” music magazine.  (More on that later.)

How many different beverages have you had today?
Two:  A cup of juice to treat a tricky low and a cup of tea to start my day the British way.

Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine?
I leave the worst messages on people’s answering machines.  I never remember to say, “Hi, this is Kerri.”  Instead, I launch right into my message about whatever random thing I was calling for, end up tangled in my words:  “Remember that thing we talked about the other day?  I was thinking about it on the way home and I heard a song that could work for the thing we were talking about ... and do you remember that time we were at that show and we saw that girl wearing pajama pants? ... so anyway, yeah, call me back.  This is Kerri.”  Ridiculous.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?They were creeps.
Radiohead.  1996.  Awesome.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Unfortunately, yes.  That whole “my name washing away in the waves of the ocean” bit is way too romantic for me to resist. 

What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had?
All of them.  I’m scared to pieces of the dentist. 

What is out your back door?
A back deck, filled with plants and a ladybug infestation.

Any plans for Friday night?
This past Friday I went to the movies to see “Casino Royale.”  (Tremendous, by the way.)  This coming Friday, we’re hosting the Thanksgiving weekend, so all bets are off.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Volume is a nice change for a fine-haired girl.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Yes.  I find them to be both revolting and delicious at the same time.  I’m also convinced they were packaged the year I was born.
Ocean gives volume.
Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yessir.  I love planetariums, museums, aquariums, and anything Imax 3-D.  They bring me great joy.

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
”Yes,” says Cheap Kerri.

Some things you are excited about?
Getting a letter in the mail (LETTER, not a bill, thank you), a new book to read, writing projects, the prospect of a new car, and unexpected flowers.

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
Jell-O:  Every high diabetic’s favorite food.  Blood sugar cresting over 300 mg/dl?  No problem.  You can devour as much Jell-O as you’d like.  My personal favorite is strawberry banana.  Add a little light whipping cream to the mixture before you put it in the fridge to cool and it makes a lovely little dessert.  Yum.

Describe your keychain(s)?
Keys to the apartment, my mother’s house, my father’s house, my car, our old apartment, Nana’s house (some reason, I haven’t let that key go yet, even though it’s been 2 years), keys to the dLife office, the storage area at our building, and other assorted key bits.  These are all attached to a ring from the Watch Hill carousel, of which I am very, very proud.  It’s like carrying around a bit of my childhood. 

Where do you keep your change?
In two almond jars, separated into “pennies” and “silver coins.”  I’m very OCD.

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
At my Nana’s funeral a few years ago.

What kind of winter coat do you own?
Long black wool coat from J. Crew that I spent way too much money on but I love.

What was the weather like on your graduation day?
High school?  Overcast, threatening rain.  College?  Gorgeous.  I had tan lines from my graduation cap.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open.  How else would the cats be able to torture me all night long?

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November 17, 2006

The Three Meme

(Wouldn’t you think there would only be three questions on this one?  Tricky.  So I added the bunnies, to drive home the "three" concept.)

Three bunnies.  They go with the "three" meme.

Three Things I Do Every Day:  Take a hot shower.  Test my blood sugar.  Grin at somebody.

Three Things I Wish I Could Do Every Day:  Hug my niece and nephew.  Achieve steady blood sugar control.  Feel at peace.

Three Hopes I Have for Today:  That people stop saying how nice the warm weather is right now and instead contemplate how to stop global warming.  That my eyes continue to find the ladybugs hiding in the plants on the back deck.  That I’m not too scared to publish this book once it’s done.

Three Things I Hear:  The inspiring sounds of Damien Rice’s “9,” the sound of my fingers against the keyboard, and the “More Cowbell” skit coming from the speakers of someone in the IT department.

Three Ways I Have Changed my Life:  I have achieved, and since reset, my fitness goals.  I have found an outlet for my writing.  I have found a man who inspires me.

Three People I Wish I Could See Again:  Bumpa, Nana, and my Grammie.

Three Items I Wish I Owned:  A car that I felt was worth the monthly payment, a CGMS, and living room furniture that fit in the living room. 

(Here’s the deal with the couch:  We were given a very nice, very cool couch that didn’t fit through the front door.  So it was hoisted onto the top of the U-Haul and then coaxed in through the sliding glass doors on the deck of the second bedroom by Chris and a few of the neighborhood gardeners.  However, it is too big to get out of the second bedroom.  So we have the futon in the living room and the couch in the bedroom … ahem, the couchroom.  I’m going to take a chainsaw to it when we move out.  That should be satisfying.)

Three Wishes I Had When I Was Young:  To live to be 100 years old, to be a writer, and to be someone’s mother.  These are wishes I still have.

Three Fears I Have:  That “my best” won’t be enough.  That my body will give in to diabetes complications.  That I will always feel uncertain about the future of my health.

Three Things on My Desk:  My meter, a mug-warmer for my fabulous SUM coffee mug, and Larry Bird.

Three Thoughts in My Mind:  “Happy Birthday, Darrell!”  “I wonder how much coffee I could drink before I start to feel un-workably jittery.”  “NaNo … you’re toast, kid.  Fire it up.”

No need for tagging.  Just tossing it out there for whoever wants to take a spin through.  Happy Friday, Internet!

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November 03, 2006


I’ve been tagged by Ryan Bruner over at Ryan Bruner’s Blog.

Here’s the deal:  I need to reveal five relatively unknown facts about myself.  Then I have to tag five other bloggers and challenge them to do the same.  I think I can do that. 

Five Random Kerri Facts:

  1. One of my biggest vices is chewing gum. I am always chewing gum.  But I’m not the loud-snapping, bubble blowing airhead type.  I’m more the subtle, minty-fresh type.  Addicted to the stuff.  Stashes everywhere at my office and in my home.  I’ve tried to quit several times but it’s nearly impossible.  Smack those lips.Is there a "patch" for this?
  2. I am addicted to LipSmacker lip gloss in delicious strawberry.  I have been using it since I was about 8 years old and I haven’t matured enough to transition to something else yet.  Doubt I ever will, actually.  It tastes so nice and has that shiny, glossy look going on.  I can’t get enough.  $1.19 at my local CVS.  The Sausage actually just trotted by with a tube of LipSmacker in her mouth. 
  3. I am not afraid to admit that I’m wrong.  Actually, I do it all the time.  Because I’m wrong all the time.  To not admit it is scandalous.  If someone uses a word I don’t know, I can’t pretend to know it.  I have to ask what that word means, even if it makes me look a little simple.  If I gave the wrong answer to a question, I can’t back-peddle and pretend I knew all along.  I have to admit that I didn’t have a clue.  
  4. I’ve never been in a physical fight in my life, except for ones with my sister.  (Sorry for stealing your pacifier when you were a little kid, Courtney.  I was a crumb.)  But I crave a good fight sometimes.  If given the chance, I would punch exactly three people in the face.  I have them all picked out.  I fantasize about it sometimes.  It’s a nice little mental vice I enjoy.
  5. When I was a little girl, I was running towards the car in a gravel parking lot.  I was wearing a black dress with a big tiger on the front.  (This was the 80’s ... forgive my fashion choices.)  I slipped and fell in the lot and tore up the entire underside of my right thigh.  It has since healed and there are no scars, except for this tiny one where there is a teensy little piece of gravel still stuck inside.  You wouldn’t notice it if you looked at me, but I know it’s there and it makes my stomach knot up just thinking about it.

There.  Five random facts.  And now, Five Tagged Bloggers:

George over at The B.A.D. Blog,
Kassie of Noncompliant,
Julia who reigns supreme at Major Bedhead,
Shannon at Mom Wants a Diabetes Cure,
Nicole at CuriousGirl.

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September 28, 2006

A Penny for my Thoughts.

The little bastard.My head has been in the clouds lately.  But I want to thank you for your very kind comments.  They've provided me with much-needed solace this week.  I'm currently regarding this issue in my eye as a very annoying Squirrel that has taken up residence.  I will drive him from my tree (read: head) and send him on his merry way.  Whatever it takes:  more time at the gym, tighter blood sugar control, easing off the stress in my life to keep my body calm ... I'll do everything I can to keep this Squirrel at bay.   And if he's still there in six months, so be it.  As long as he doesn't bring more friends.  Because if I end up with a head full of Squirrels, I'm going to laser the hell out of them and they'll be sorry they didn't leave when they had the chance.


Very long-winded metaphor there.  But I'm sticking with it.  Here's to the banishment of The Squirrel.  He won't drive me nuts for long.  (Ah, there's the pun.)   Until then, and forever more, it's business as usual.  Forging ahead.  And with that, I've stolen a meme from Sandra (who stole it from Penny) in efforts to get my head back in the game.

***     The MEME.     ***

Do you still have tonsils?  Yes.  They are back there in my throat, along with that hanger-ball thingy.

Would you bungee jump?  Oooh, no thank you.

If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be?  Write.  Ah ha!

How many tattoos do you have?  
None.  I never liked the idea of a stretched out, aging dolphin or rose.
Crimey, DM!
Your favorite fictional animal? 
Danger Mouse.  Dashing,  British, and best friends with a hamster named Penfold.  That’s a triple win.

One person that never fails to make you laugh? 
Nurse Best Friend.  She and I make no sense to anyone but each other, and it’s damn funny every time.

Do you consider yourself well organized? 
Yes.  No.  Um, what was the question?  Hold on, I need to grab a pen...

Any Addictions? 
Coffee.  Trashy magazines in the aisles at supermarkets.  (Oftentimes, Chris is kind enough to unload the grocery cart so I can stand there and read the magazines on the sly.)  I think I’m addicted to blogging.  And I really do like driving fast.    

From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
Sigh ... Yahoo.  I’ll admit it:  I get most of my current news either from Yahoo news blurbs or Jon Stewart.

Would you rather go to a carnival or circus?  
Carnival.  Where else can you toss a ping pong ball and score a goldfish? 

When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? 
A writer.  And taller than I was at the age of 12.  I’m one for two at the moment. 

Best Movie You've Seen This Year? The Illusionist.  Or Little Miss Sunshine.  Both brilliant.

Favorite alcoholic drink? 
Pinot grigio.  Or a madras.  And I’m in the process of developing a taste for Corona.  More on that once I’m convinced it’s not actually carbonated bread.

What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Remove the sleeping Siah Sausage from my head and then test my bloodsugar.

But of course.  Older brother, younger sister.

What is the best thing about your job? 
That I get to write for a living.  And it doesn’t involve insurance in the least bit.   

Have you ever gone to therapy?  Once, after my parents divorced.  It didn’t do much for me but I was emotionally unreachable at the time. 

If you could have one super power what would it be? 
To have three more super powers. 

Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
The chaos of IKEA has been ferreted out by Mr. Sparling and me.  Half of our living room is furnished with IKEA stuff we’ve built ourselves using dowels and that wild, L-shaped screw thing they give you.  I’ve never been so horrified and delighted at the same time as when I realized that over $500 worth of Ikea stuff fit into a VW Jetta.

Have you ever gone camping? 
Yes.  Many, many times.  I don’t fancy myself a woman of the woods, but I “roughed it” and have been known to pee behind trees on occasion.  (I think I may have just crossed the liCiao.ne into Too Much Information Land.)

Gas prices! First thought?
A vespa. 

Your favorite cartoon character? Slowpoke Rodriguez.  Speedy may have received more press, but SlowPoke was just so sleepy and slow ... he makes me laugh every time.

What was your first car?  A 1984 Volvo DL with no horn, windows that fell into the doorframe everytime I rolled them down, and started in accordance with it’s German whims.  My brother left it behind when he went to college and I snapped it up when I turned 16.

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?  
No.  But it isn’t the only benchmark for a committed relationship.

The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?   The Simpsons.  All the way.  Comic Book Guy stands guard on my bookshelf at work as we speak.  He’s the gardener here at dLife. 

Do you go to church? 
No.  Do I have to in order to affirm my faith?

What famous person would you like to have dinner with? 
Bono.  Or Larry Bird.  (Are there any surprises anymore?)

What errand/chore do you despise?  
The dishes.  They are disgusting.  Once food is done being eaten, I immediately consider it “trash.”  And who wants to scrub trash off their dinner plates?  Horrendous.  I do, however, love washing laundry.  Goes in dirty, comes out clean.  I love that system.  And I could sniff dryer sheets all day long.  They’re like crack for me.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning? 
"Why is there a little gray tail in my ear?"

Last time you puked from drinking? 
Come on ... my mother reads this blog.  (This morning.  Nah, just kidding.  Yesterday morning.)

What is your heritage?   Irish, English, and Italian.  I’m a tea-drinking, hot-tempered pitbull who should be able to cook but is dreadfully deficient in that arena.

Favorite flower? 
The ones from Chris.  From roses for Valentines’ Day to a bouquet of daisies he grabbed while grocery shopping, I love them all.

Disney or Warner Bros?  They’re all mildly amusing but if I see one more grown woman wearing a jean jacket with Tweety Bird embroidered on it, I may lose my mind.

What is your best childhood memory? 
Riding the carousel every summer in Watch Hill.

Your favorite potato chip? 
I don’t like potato chips.  But I love Sherbet Cyclone popsicles.  I haven’t been able to find them in about three years.  If you know of a place where I can purchase Sherbet Cyclones, please disclose your source.  I seriously would drive across states to score a box.  But then I’d have to eat them all in one sitting because otherwise they would melt.  That’s the price I’m willing to pay.

What is your favorite candy? 
Gummy peaches.  The first three taste so delicious, but then you have to quit because you’re either going to end up ridiculously high or sick to your stomach.  Still, those first three are money.

Do you burn or tan? 
I tan to golden brown perfection.  I am currently missing my summer glow at the moment... looking rather pasty these days.

Astrological sign? 

Do you own a gun? 
No way.  But I do have a baseball bat under the bed, just in case I want to play homerun derby in the middle of the night.

What do you think of hot dogs? 
They can be kind of pushy.

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June 05, 2006

The Panagram Challenge

The Quick Blue Pen













The Panagram Challenge, found on Major Bedhead.

At first, I thought I had to write my own panagram.  So I stewed about for a while, trying to come up with a sentence that uses all 26 letters of the alphabet but wasn't too ridiculous. 

I succeeded at writing a sentence that uses all 26 letters, but I didn't escape being ridiculous.  My apoligies to ... everyone.

"Gazing at the ubiquitous testing kit, I grabbed my pump and was very grateful for my access to such jazzy technological fixtures."


"I would coax the cat to just come inside but she'd rather venture out and pounce the flock of squabbling, fuzzy bees."

I think I may have too much time on my hands.

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May 11, 2006

Answers to Julia's Epic Meme

Pretend you're stranded on a desert island. You already have shelter, water, My Island.batteries, an abundant food supply that doesn't revolve around coconuts and even a cabana boy/girl to minster to your, erm, needs. However, you need some intellectual entertainment. Give me your top five desert island:

Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary - I hate when I can't think of or spell a word.
The Princess Bride, revised by William Goldman - The book is so much better than the movie.
My Journal – For my own musings.
The latest Jodi Picoult volume- Guilty pleasure.
Sweet Invisible Body by Lisa Roney - Inspires me.

Dead Poet’s Society - Never fails to reignite my desire to be a writer.
Braveheart - Touches that bit of my heart that loves a romance, but needs a body count, too.
An Uzi at the Alamo - I am just mad for the filmmaker.  :)
Millions - I left the theater smiling.  This movie may have restored my faith in humanity.
The Fellowship of the Ring – Spot-on adaptation of a brilliant book.

Albums (NOT compilations of your own making)
U2 - The Joshua Tree
The Frames - Burn the Map
Muse - Absolution
Coldplay - Parachutes
Damien Rice - O
I could listen to all five of these albums all day long.  Which is a good thing, since they will be marooned on this island with me.  Do I get to have a cd player, too?

2. Now, pretend you won the lottery. It's a huge amount, although not sickeningly huge. After you've given away your chunk to charity, paid off all your bills, set up savings/trust funds for kids and self and given money to deserving family and friends, you're left with $5 million, which you must use to build a house. Where would it be? What would it look like? Tell me how you'd furnish it and then describe your first party there.

My house would be on the beach.  It would have enough bedrooms to accommodate overnight house party guests while not evicting my future children from their bedrooms.  With windows facing the ocean and a skylight in the master bathroom, there would be plants and photographs and beautiful glass mobiles hanging from the ceilings. 

It would look like home.  It would feel that way, too. 

And the first party would be rocking.  I’d describe it but I don’t want to ruin the surprise when everyone shows up and sees the band and the ice luge and the petting zoo and the unicyclist and Larry Bird  

3. If you could have dinner with five people from history, living or dead, who would they be? What about five fictional characters? What would you serve at each dinner?

Dinner with Real People would include:  Larry Bird, Bono, Lisa Roney, Thom Yorke, and Damien Rice.  They would be served whatever they wanted from the Paragon menu on Thayer Street.  Followed closely by some delicious black raspberry ice cream from St. Claire’s Annex.

Mr. YukDinner with Fictional People would include:   Peter from the Family Guy, The Easter Bunny, my brother’s imaginary friend from when he was a little kid, Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy from Nip/Tuck (they come tandem so they only count as one), and Mr. Yuk from the poison labels in the 80’s.  They would be served a heaping plate of bacon bits and smoked salmon, because there’s no need to worry about their sodium intake, as they are Fictional. 

4. Describe your least favourite and best characteristics.
My most favored traits are my loyalty, honesty, and determination.  My least favorite are my anxiety, short temper, and my prowess in grudge-holding.
My most favored traits are my loyalty, honesty, and determination.My least favorite are my anxiety, short temper, and my prowess in grudge-holding.

Mr. Lipton Himself5. And finally, answer James Lipton's Ten Questions:

What is your favorite word?
Absquatulate.  It means “to leave” and I learned it in second grade.  I use it whenever possible.  Which hasn’t been until just now. 

What is your least favorite word?

What turns you on?
Is this a serious question?  What turns me on is someone funny.  Seriously witty and funny people have a direct line to my heart.  Make me laugh until milk comes out of my nose (even if I didn’t drink any milk) and I’ll love you forever.

Chris is very funny.

What turns you off?
Anything related to mucous and internal nose issues.  Revolting.  Blech.

What is your favorite curse word?
Dagnab it.  I like Yosemite Sam.  Oooh, and the f-word.  Classic, strong, tacky ... I love it.

What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of my cute little nephew’s voice saying anything.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Alarm clock.  Any of the three of them make me completely insane.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Professional unicycler.  or television personality.

What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“Took you long enough.”

Meme QuestionsThe Questions are UP!  Check the comments for your Five.

Continue reading "Answers to Julia's Epic Meme" »

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May 10, 2006

Answers to the Interview Meme

IrisQuestions from Shannon:

1. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Arrogance.  Plain and simple.  Humility goes a long way.

2. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?


“Oh, patience is a virtue!”  Really?  Patience doesn’t get me any closer to the job of my dreams and it doesn’t put chapters on the page.  Patience does nothing but make me sit quietly while I get older.  Determination.  Perseverance.  Unflagging resolve.  Kindness.  Those are virtues I stand by.

3. On what occasion do you lie?

When it matters.  Like when my friend had cancer and her eyes were dull, skin hanging from her cheek bones, and all that remained on her head were the few strands that chemotherapy let her keep.  She asked me how she looked.  And I told her she looked just fine.  
4. Which living person do you most despise? Words

Johnny Damon.

 5. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I talk all the time and when I’m not talking, I’m writing.  I overuse every single word and phrase I can think of. 

From Nicole:

1. If you were mute and you had to introduce yourself to another person using only a photo or painting, what images(s) would you use?

The photograph from Napatree Point that is the header on my blog.  Muted blues, ever-churning sand, a path leading to my favorite corner of the ocean in this world.  I’m not sure if it would convey everything about me in one fell swoop, but it would give someone the most treasured measure of my childhood.  That’s something.

2. As an author, what is more important to you: your personal satisfaction with your writing OR the number of people your words reach? Tell me why.

I’m assuming that you made the “or” in all caps so I couldn’t cheat and lay claim to both (damn it).  My personal satisfaction with my writing is important.  What I write – every single word of it – means more to me than how many people read it because it is a part of my soul (whoo, dramatic).  HOWEVER, if what I write remains locked in a cabinet forever, it doesn’t make me an author.  It doesn’t make me a writer to anyone but me.  I want this to be my career.  I want to make a living as a writer.  So who reads it matters.  And that’s okay, because by the time my words make it to someone else’s eyes, it’s passed my personal scrutiny.

3. At the moment, what is your greatest challenge? How do you intend to rise above it?

I need a new job - badly.  I am working diligently to find employment that fuels me to work hard and appreciates my creativity and ambition.  Medical insurance and my desire to not engross myself in another meaningless financial job fuels every morning of every day.  I won’t stop until I have this issue resolved.  But it is a daily challenge.  I look forward to when I have another task to focus on.

4. If you could go back in time, just briefly, what time period would you visit? Why?

I would visit the year I turned five years old, so I could remember one beautiful afternoon without diabetes.

5. What is your favorite part of your own body? Why?

My hands.  Small.  Nails haphazardly filed.  Cuticles slightly mangled.  Fingertips rough from vigilant bloodsugar testing.  A strong and calloused writer’s bump on my right ring finger.  Two cheap rings I bought at a little shop in Watch Hill.  White and soft in the winter, tanned and strong in the summer.  They exemplify how hard I work at everything.

Julia's Litany O' Queries to be answered in another post because otherwise, this post would have scrolled on for all eternity...  and I'll give five to the first five, per protocol.  :)

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