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No Birds?

We get so much stuff in the mail here at work - ranging from tasty Edible Arrangements to hand-written dissertations about diabetes to piles and piles of diabetes-related media publications.  (Sometimes there are sussies, which are the very best bits of mail.)

We've also received Omaha Steaks, which I had never heard of before my last job. "No gifts" policy?  Pffft.  Food has no boundaries, it seems.  And along with these steaks, there was a package of conversation starters (this one was Set 3) with little chatty prompts written on it.  Relatively general stuff, like "Where is the most beautiful place you have every been?" (My answer:  St. John) and "If you were in total solitude for one year, how you would spend your time?"  (My answer:  alone)

But among these somewhat generic questions was one I didn't see coming.  One that gave me a pause and then made me burst out laughing.  This treasure of a query was buried last in the bunch:

"What would be different about the world if there were no birds?"

Oh, I couldn't stop giggling for some reason.  No birds?  The silliest answers kept leaping to mind.  My car would have no bird crap on it.  Carrier voles would replace carrier pigeons.  Sesame Street would have been graced with a big, yellow aardvark.  Hitchcock would have been taunted by sea lions?  This question made my imagination run rampant, and sent me into a fit of giggles every time I pictured a bunch of bears sitting on telephone wires, teetering awkwardly and growling at passerbys.

No bears were harmed in the making of this photo.

So to you, my dear Faithful Readers, I pose this question.  What would be different about the world if there were no birds?


All the freaky bird watchers would have to find something else to watch. Do you want this?

No eggs!

Quill pens with which to craft a proper response wouldn't exist.

I mean swallows are cute there are like 1 billion of them just in my backyard alone. I would have to start eating more steak which wouldnt totally make me upset but it would be a killer on my cholesterol. There would be no eggs and i wouldnt like that.

We need birds. Maybe we can just make the ones we dont like extinct like umm pigeons for starters. they are so disgusting especially manhattan pigeons. which are known as flying rats around this part. Swans are nice.

HOw about asking what the world would be like without snakes or something thats bettter? lol

I think we need those furry little chirpers. How would i know the day was starting otherwise!

I'm thinking none of that crazy bird flu business.

Whenever I go to a large city, I always get a kick out of scaring the pigeons. They can't be that scared, since they usually just walk faster or flap a few feet away from me, but it's usually good for a few giggles. I would miss that.

And that annoying alarm clock I stashed away somewhere wouldn't have an alarm that sounded like a rooster. (The poor rooster doing that sound effect sounds like he's sick.) But since I don't use the clock, it probably wouldn't matter…

Hmmm...a steak place talking about no birds in the world...I smell marketing ;)

Seriously, though, my cat would go insane! Without feathery flitting things outside his window, he's lost...

There would be a lot more worms! And what would we have instead of the "early bird"???? What would get the worm????

Darrell - Good point. They'd have to start watching ... bugs or something.

Chris - Another good point.

Shannon - I spit my coffee out laughing at that one.

Gina - LOL at your whole response. :)

Jillian - True!

Ky - I have a cuckoo clock that has a rooster instead of a delicate little bird. It caws at the hour. :)

Kathy - My cat would freak out, too, without the "TV" being on. (When the birds are outside the window, we call it "KittyTV.") And LOL at your marketing aptitude. I didn't think of that!

Cara - The early moose would get the worm? ;)

No seagulls on the beach? No ignorant folks feeding them handfuls of doritos? Now there is a thought.

The bears on the wire reminded me of this place int he White mountains called "clarks trading post" At the entrance they had a poor bear sitting up high on a pole, a real one. Perched up there.

A very good question.

Without birds, how would John Lennon refer to women in the mid to late 60s? Chicks? Nope. Couldn't do that either. "Dope honeys" just wouldn't work.

Keeping with The Beatles theme, without birds there would be no classic McCartney song, "Blackbird," but instead perhaps "Black Man."

The song probably wouldn't work as a lullaby for my kids anymore.

"Black man singing in the dead of night."

I would miss the bird songs...

no hummingbirds, and that would just be the saddest thing of all!

Hummingbirds reminds us that if we find joy in what we do,
we become light as a feather, and life is rich with nectar.

I'd be able to sit on my front porch in the spring without being dive-bombed by the birds in the nests on the columns of said front porch.

My family got those cards too and at first I thought it'd be great (not a bird fan) but then I realized there'd be no turkey or chicken. Not so good!

I would only have to rid the world of Clowns and Michael Bolton to make it perfect.

With no birds, there would be a hell of a lot of bugs.

I'm with George on the clowns and Michael Bolton.

Hmmmm, no Birds?

I would miss Egrets - they remind me of home, the same goes for Blue Herons and Sand Pipers. Yes, I grew up at the beach and those birdies make me very happy.

I could due without seagulls and pigeons though, I wouldn't miss them at all. Seagulls steal sandwiches and other tasty treats I bring to the beach. I'm a diabetic - I'm very protective about my food! Pigeons are just gross and now that I live in the city they have decided to use my window ledge as a vantage point and have crapped all over it.

I'm with George - lets rid the world of Clowns...And pigeons.

We'd all instead be worried about Bunny Flu or maybe even Squirrel Flu.

Without birds, there would be no scientific link between dinosaurs and John Mccain.

It would be an economic disaster in the dog world. Thousands of bird dogs would have to be laid off. What type of transferrable skills do they have? What would they point at?

There'd be a lot more bugs of various sorts. And since hens, turkeys, ducks and geese also count as birds there'd be no eggs for breakfast and a completely different Thanksgiving.

I read a book about the Great Leap Forward in China. During that time there were almost no birds in China because people ate them out of desperation. The description of the silence was chilling.

I'll keep the bird poop, just don't deprive me of the wonderful chatter.

No kitty chirping at the birds. That would majorly suck. :)

Nothing would "taste like chicken!"

Without birds my miniature chihuahua could go potty n peace without those stupid birds trying to attack her or me worrying about an owl thinking she is food!

In response to something we found distasteful, we could no longer proclaim, "This is for the birds!"

We'd have to say "This is for the lemurs," or "This is for the Hagfish!"

Who would the bees have sex with?

We'd have to assign another finger to flip!

But then there would be no LARRY BIRD!!!!

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